My Uterus Says Goodbye...

I know I am sure I could have come up with a different title for this post but I was at a complete loss of how to express how I am feeling.

I have come to the sad realization that this body with every pound and every stretch mark will never again hold and nurture a life.  I am very saddened by this thought and although I am completely certain that my family is exactly as it should be, I am still sad. My uterus will never be stretched or pushed to its limits again, I will never get another stretch mark caused by carrying a baby for 40 weeks, nor will I ever again feel the movement of tiny little hands and feet.  I am having a hard time with this realization.  I am so thankful and happy for the wonderful bundles of joy my body did bring into this world and I can't imagine my life without them in it but I can't help but feel that a part of me, part of the journey I call life, is over.

A friend came by the other day with her 9 day old baby and I was right back in it.  I could so carry another one, love another one, but I know that the other part of me is done.  I feel like I have two personalities.  The one that feels like having another baby would be great, one more wouldn't be so bad, we could try one more time for a girl, and the other, the practical me, says you have enough, you have one daughter and that is enough (practical me remembers the meltdown the other day and the hormones that will eventually rear their ugly head soon enough) and you can't guarantee that if you get pregnant again, that it would even be a girl.

I can tell myself all of these things and yet a small part of me is dying inside.  A part that really has defined me in the last 10 years.  I will always be a mother to my 4 wonderful little beings and that will have to be enough.

I don't want to sound ungrateful or make anyone struggling to have just one baby upset with me.  I am all too familiar with those struggles myself. It took me 15 months, 2 rounds of fertility drugs and countless trips to a specialist, not to mention the myriad of tests I had to endure as well to have my very first little person, so I understand the struggle of others to just have one baby. I just am having a hard time closing this door.

I know that another door will open.  All the things that are still left to accomplish.  I will be okay about it soon.  But for now, I will be sad about never being pregnant again.  But I will forever be happy about being mommy to the best 4 kids on the planet.

Dove Advanced Hair Series: Pure Care Dry Oil

I was so thrilled and excited when Dove Canada sent me these free samples of their new hair care line to try.  I was given the choice between the Pure Care Dry Oil or Oxygen Moisture.  My hair is naturally curly but is often frizzy and unmanageable especially with the humidity of summer.  I chose to try the dry oil as my hair really doesn't need any added volume but could definitely use some damage control and shine boosting.  The wonderful people at Dove sent my full size bottles of the product which was so nice and much better than some of the samples I have gotten in the past.

The first thing I noticed when I opened the box was the smell.  Oh my god it is absolutely wonderful.  The product is infused with African macadamia oil and is supposed to improve the look of dry, dull hair.  My hair honestly could not be more dull or dry.  Pregnancy and product have taken a toll on my already frizzy locks so I was willing to try anything.

The shampoo has an almost oily texture.  Like putting really thick oil on your hands but it is not greasy at all.  It was so silky and smooth to touch and well like I said earlier smells great.  It lathered really well and rinsed off easily.  The conditioner was thick and covered my hair easily and also rinsed clean, leaving my head feeling quite refreshed.  The final product was the nourishing hair treatment.  I used this on my damp hair after I was out of the shower and I think this is what made the difference with my frizz.  You use 3-4 pumps of product on your damp hair after showering.  It is supposed to add shine, restore lipids and smooth.

I have been using the product for 2 weeks now and I have noticed a huge difference in my hair. My biggest issue with my hair is the fact that it is naturally curly and gets frizzy fast.  As my hair dries the worse the frizz gets.  I have to say since using the dry oil products my hair is way less frizzy and so much shinier.

My hair in the picture has no product in it but the hair treatment that I put in after I washed it.  It may not look like it but its feels silky and shiny and the frizz, while still there, is not as bad.

I was curious how it would work on my daughters hair.  She has thick hair like mine but with no curl at all.  We have used the Dove on her hair as well and it is shinier and healthier looking too.

Overall, I am uber impressed with this product.  I can't think of any reason to not absolutely love this product.  My hair is shinier than it has ever been and looks much less over-styled with product now.  It has been amazing for my hair and I will continue using it.

Dove really did make a great product with this.  I think I may buy the Oxygen Moisture to try on my daughter's hair as she could use some volume added to her hair.

Thanks again Dove for such a great product and the chance to try it!


Disclosure:  I was not obligated or paid to write this post in any way.  I only received the free products to try.  Everything I have written are my own opinions.

Finding Time...

I once again feel like I have lost time somewhere.  I totally gave myself a goal of posting on my blog 3-4 times a week.  It's not like I don't have tons of ideas or things to write about (hell I have 4 kids and the news happens every day, there is always something) but I am finding time is just getting away from me.

I have somehow lost at least a month in the last 6 and I still feel like I haven't accomplished anything. I can't believe that my maternity leave is coming to an end in only 6 weeks. My baby is going to be one, it's insane how time flies and babies grow.  Anyway, this was kind of just a rant post and also a promise post.  I will be better.  I will post more.  This is the beginning.

On another note, our journey towards Permanent Residency for my hubby is finally complete. It is an exciting new chapter in our life together.  So there is another topic to write about and I hope you all stick around and follow along even if time gets away from me and I don't post as often as I should.