My Newest Addition

I know that I am continually writing about the baby but hey I am currently living and breathing baby. He really is a happy baby. He's smiling all the time now and all it takes is one of his smiles to make it all worth it. I guess the truth be told a smile or giggle from any of my kidlets (which is the word I have been using to describe my kids lately) will make everything all worth it.

I have finally realized that like his father my youngest is a boob man. He won't take a pacifier or a bottle. I've tried every pacifier on the market (I mean every brand) and at least 4 different bottles. He will take the Gerber bottle but for only a few seconds and then won't take it again. It's hard. Hard on me and for hubby. He would love to give Ollie a bottle and bond with him but he just won't take it.

It has taken me 3 days to type this post and finally my little man sleeps.  Not on me but in his bassinet finally. I am able to do some things (how long it will last, who knows).  I have had a really rough go of it this time. He's the neediest baby ever and I feel like I can't breathe.  I would love to be able to go out in the car without it turning into a screaming match.  I have to travel everywhere with my hubby as I can not take the stress of going by myself (unless I have no choice).  He hates the car, he hates his crib and I am the go to guy for everything.  Not that I didn't expect a little of the neediness but this is claustrophobic. I am totally committed to the attachment parenting route that I have chosen for this baby, I just never realized how much work it is for me.  I think I did a little of the attachment parenting with my other three but I don't remember it being this hard.  I guess I never realized it before as I just had to do it, I had no choice as I had no real help. This time I have the help and baby won't let me take it.

I don't want to wish away his babyhood as this is the last baby I will ever have but I need to breathe and be able to get off of this couch.  All things eventually come to an end and hopefully this needy stage will too.

Where has the time gone?

Its all done. Halloween is done and over with and I have a massive pile of candy that my kids will never eat (not that I don't let them have it, they just don't eat it) and I now have 55 days until Christmas.

Oh my god did I just say the dreaded C word. I can't believe I'm talking about Christmas. I swear I've lost a year somewhere. I found out I was pregnant with my newest little babe just before Christmas last year and now here we are 55 days from the next one. Only this year I now have 4 kids to buy for. 

This last year seems like a blur. Big chunks of 2013 are missing. I don't like this fact. It means I'm getting older and my kids are growing up too fast. My oldest will be 10 in 55 days. How can she be 10 already?  

Our life has had so many changes in the past two years. I've gotten separated, divorced, remarried and had a new baby. Life has been good to me and for that I'm so glad. Glad that I've got what I am so grateful for. I'm relatively healthy, blessed to be married to the best man on the planet an I have 4 amazing kids. I hope that the next 10 years are just as amazing as the last 2.

Well off I go, gotta start shopping, only 55 days left...

Needy Baby

I am feeling guilty.  Guilty that I don't have 3 of me.  My newest addition to our family is needy.  I am constantly feeding, bouncing, talking baby or sitting with him on me all day, every day.  My other children must feel that the baby is the only one that exists.  I love all my children equally but my time is definitely not equal.

I very rarely move from the sofa as my youngest will only sleep on me, eats every couple hours and has now gotten into the stage where if he doesn't see or hear me he will cry.  I love my little guy but I am going insane.  I stare at the same 4 walls all day long (which need to be painted so badly) and I rarely leave the house.  I can't even walk my other kids to the bus stop in the morning.

I try to get out of the house but it is so hard with this baby.  He hates his car seat and cries everytime I put him in it, so going out in the car is next to impossible.  I have tried to go for walks but those don't always go well either.

I really miss spending time with all my kids equally as well as I haven't really had any time with my hubby either. 

I'm tired, cranky and most definitely done having babies. I know that all this will pass and I will miss this time too as we all know they grow up way too fast.